…pALaKa…

Last night, I “broke up” with my girlfriend.  I think cool-off would be the better and proper term.  Of course it was hard for him.  Much harder for her.  I think.  She was crying.  And all I could do was hug her.

Now, I fell terrible.  Miserable.  Wretched.  I feel I am a total jerk.  A worthless guy.  Bad boy.  Heartbreaker.  Cruel.  Ouch.

Why is it that when it’s a girl who does the breaking up, it’s okay?  Society would see it as something usual. 

Normal

.  They wouldn’t say anything about the girl.  But when it’s us guys who do the breaking, it suddenly becomes a different story. Whatever the reason may be, valid or not, even if it’s the girl’s fault, the world sees us and will always see us as cruel.  Unfair?  Very much.

But which is unfair, be honest with your feelings and breaking up with her or continue the relationship even though you yourself know that the feeling is gone?  Have I been unfair?  Or have I just been honest with myself?  It’s unfair if I allow our relationship to continue but then my feelings for her are not genuine anymore, is it not? Then why does the world see me as someone cruel for breaking a heart?  Talk about unfairness.

Was I cruel?  Or did I only do the right thing?

Sad, isn’t it?

I still feel terrible.

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