…pALaKa…

a friend once asked me this question:

"if your partner had experienced cheating on his past relationships, what’s your assurance that he won’t do it again with you?  is love enough an assurance?"

honestly, i wasn’t able to answer her immediately.  the question really made me think.  now, i have the answer, i guess.

but let me first tell you a story.  once there was this young lady who fell in love with a young man.  they were so deeply in love that they lasted for two years.  unfortunately, their love came to an end.  but it was not the typical break-up where in one leaves the other.  in her case, both of them decided to part ways.  whatever their reason was, nobody knew.  however, before separating, the young man said, "i will tell you something.  i guess i have to say this now since this might be the last time we’ll talk."

"what is it?" the young lady asked.

"i have been dating other girls when we were still together."

"oh really?" she smiled.  "that’s alright.  it’s part of the past already."  she paused.  then she continued, "since when?"

"about a month after our first year anniversary until last month."

it came hard on her.  like an arrow hitting an apple.  still, she showed no sign of being hurt.  "never mind it.  thanks for being honest."

and they separated.

my answer is this: there is no assurance if our partner truly loves us or not.  all we can rely on is the trust we have for him/her.  the young lady in the story never had thought that her man was dating others.  she was convinced that he was his only girl when they were together.  but his confession proved her wrong.  the same thing applies to us.  we can never assure ourselves if our partners are doing something fishy behind our backs.  if they tell us they love us and that we are their only one, all we can do is to trust their statement.  that’s all.  if your partner has no history of being a flirt or if cheating is not a part of his/her personality, then it’s better.  but still, that cannot be an assurance.  for people change.  time changes people.  a holy type person now can be a devil tomorrow.  and vice versa.

so what shall we do?

nandemonai.  nothing.  just keep on trusting.  and keep on loving.

i hope this would suffice.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 14th, 2007 at 11:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.