…pALaKa…

"so much for all the promises you made, they served you well and now you’re gone and they’re wasted on me.

so much for you endearing sense of charm, it served you well and now it’s gone and you’re wasted on me."

some lines from the song "rapid hope loss" by dashboard confessional.

eversince my childhood, my parents would everyday assure me that they would never separate.  so i grew up thinking that i would have a complete family until the day i die.  but that picture was shattered when they decided to separated when i was fourteen.  i was hurt.  i felt betrayed.

when i was 16, i courted a girl (who’s now a good friend of mine and is currently the girlfriend of my very good friend, carlo).  she told me that there’s hope.  may patutunguhan ang aking panliligaw.  but then, after several months of continuous courting, she said that friendship is all she can give to me.  talk about hope.  this was the second time i felt betrayed.

december 2002.  i met another girl.  she became my girlfriend.  the times spent with her were the happiest days of my life.  so i thought.  after eleven months of sweetness, love and a promise of her not leaving me, we broke up.  she broke up with me.  strike three.

i don’t know what do you call a man who sticks at others’ words.  but i am like that.  if a promise has been made to me, i really expect that promise to be fulfilled.  if a friend of mine says he will meet me at this date, time and place, i expect him to be there, unless a real emergency happened or he cancelled it earlier.  and if it has been set that we will see each other, i would really expect and set my mind that we will see each other.

that’s why i am going nuts.  that’s the reason i am going berserk now.  i am hurt.

how does one make up to a person whom he has broken a promise with?  will the trust be the same?  will the love still be the same?

others might find me weird or over-reacting.  but there are people who easily put their trust and high hopes on others especially if those people have already been a part of their lives. 

i am one of them.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 at 7:22 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.